Randomosity of the week

By Gus Bode

Pets bring joy to your otherwise meaningless existence

Ah, pets – so much to love.

Here’s a short list of the things a puppy will destroy and/or ingest:chocolate, remote controls, random pieces of paper, important pieces of paper, video tapes and games, cords, rugs, fast-food cups, wood molding and tubes of lip balm.

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How many times will he jump up on you with dirty paws? Every time you have nice and/or clean clothes on.

Here’s how many pets will poop in the same spot after one pet has done so:All of them. Over and over again.

How many days in a row will a kitten wake you up at 6 a.m.? Every day. How about after you spray him in the face with water and put him in the basement? Still, every day.

Here’s how often your cat will want to go outside when it’s raining:Every time. But just for 2.5 minutes, or until he’s muddy.

How many scratches will you have after cleaning off the muddy kitty? About five.

Here’s how often you will get compliments on how cute and/or sweet your pet is:Nearly every day, from people you don’t live with.

How many times will your pets cuddle up with you and make you feel better after a crappy day? Every time you need them to.

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