WHAT BETTER WAY TO SHOW HER YOU LOVE HER?

A woman broke her boyfriend’s heart when she moved from Prijedor to Mostar in Bosnia and took a job as a waitress. In an effort to get her to come back home, he told her that Mostar was a dangerous place, and set off five bombs in less than a week near her restaurant to prove his point. It worked. She has moved back home and has said that she will marry him when he gets out of jail next year.

HEY CHIEF, I THINK WE’VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD CLUE HERE

A group of young burglars broke into some condominiums in Orange County, Fla., then later videotaped themselves with the stolen property. But, a few days later, they stole a car and left the incriminating video in the vehicle when they abandoned it.

I’M AS SURPRISED AS YOU ARE, OFFICER

Police in Athens, Tenn., caught a woman dragging a small safe down the road. She told them that she stole it from her boyfriend who came down to the police station and foolishly opened it up. The cops looked inside and found two pistols with the serial numbers filed off and eight grams of crack cocaine. They arrested him.

PANTIES JUST MAKE ME FEEL SO HAPPY

A man was arrested for stealing women’s underwear from the laundry rooms of apartment complexes in Pullman, Wash. Police say they recovered more than 100 pounds of bras and panties from the man’s home and car. He told detectives that he “had an addiction that he could not break.”

UM, DID YOU SAY, `MOST OF IT?’

Police in Edinburgh, Scotland, report that there are more than 100 fistfights every month mostly late at night on weekends outside the busiest bars in the city. Chief Inspector Willy Wills said, “Most of it is due to people drinking too much.”

SHE’S DEAD? PERHAPS I WAS MISTAKEN

A judge in Australia was charged with speeding after his car was tracked by a radar camera. In court, he said he had loaned the vehicle to a woman friend from America. The story fell apart when it was discovered that the woman had died three years earlier.

THEY SENSED A PATTERN WAS EMERGING

A man came into a restaurant in Bloomington, Ind., on a Wednesday ordered two gin and tonics and a rib-eye steak, then walked out without paying. The following Wednesday he came back and did it again. The following Wednesday, same thing. Finally, when he tried it a fifth time, the employees were prepared and were waiting for him outside when he tried to flee.

OK, NOW CLICK ON `ALIBIS’

After meeting a woman online, a man came to her Norwich, Conn., home and stayed for several days. He spent a great deal of time on her computer before asking to borrow her car. Then he went out and robbed a bank. A few days after he left, the woman recognized him from a bank surveillance tape, Police examined her computer and found he had done a search for “how to rob a bank.”

COME ON, I JUST WANT TO TALK … KA-BLAM!

A man went to the daycare center in Orlando, Fla., where his ex-girlfriend works to air out some sort of grievance he had with her. When employees refused to buzz him in, he got a gun and fired four shots at the windows. Fortunately, the center had the foresight to have installed bulletproof glass. Unfortunately for the shooter, the whole thing was captured on videotape.