Sports banter

By Gus Bode

Sports Banter:

Suspended NFL running back Ricky Williams applied for reinstatement into the league Monday after numerous positive tests for marijuana left him suspended. Will the commissioner agree to let him back into the league and if so, what team will take a gamble on him?

“Marijuana may ease the symptoms of some diseases, but it does nothing for the clubhouse cancer that is Ricky Williams. The bong-loving Longhorn left his teammates hanging when he retired on a whim in 2004, and his continued THC-laden samples should show every team that the dread-head is not worth the dread.” – Sean McGahan


“There’s plenty of teams with needs at running back, but it’s already established he won’t be back in Miami. Williams is going to have to go somewhere with another quality running back, preferably a city close to a dealer he trusts. But Williams would fit in best with Oakland, Kansas City and anywhere in the NFC West.” – Scott Mieszala

“I think the commissioner might give him another chance considering he’s been playing in Canada and doing yoga. I mean how could he not?” -Megan Kramper