Bid goodbye to the Turtles

By Anthony Pickens

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are officially done for.

According to Michael Bay’s website, there are some big changes in store for the turtles.

Bay, director of “Transformers” and “Bad Boys,” is set to produce an upcoming take on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

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One of the plans for the film is to turn the turtles into aliens, which has been highly criticized by fans.

The turtles aren’t only dead because they’re transforming into aliens, they’re doomed because Bay will have a hand in their story-line.

The original take of the Ninja Turtles’ origins revolved around scientists dumping off nuclear chemical waste in sewers. Eventually the waste got in contact with four turtles and a rat, turning them into human-like characters.

The origins of these characters reflect some of the concerns of American culture since the days of the Cold War.

Nuclear war has fueled a fear of destruction in our world, Influencing books and movies such as “The Watchmen” and “X-Men: First Class.”

Ninja Turtles centers around scientists disposing of chemical waste the wrong way. This was a clever way to make the turtles appealing to others besides kids because it related to the times people were living in.

When the 1987 cartoon series hit television, it led to everything from popular toys and video games to a film trilogy. Much of the popularity of the show came from great characters. While the Turtles themselves were always entertaining, characters such as Casey Jones, a hockey-masked vigilante who aids the Turtles’ crime-fighting, were also very likeable.

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But characterization and plot are things that Bay chooses to neglect.

He has failed to have either in all his movies, especially the “Transformers” series.

His movies tend to just keep the interests of audiences with short attention spans.

His plots consist only of hot girls in heels, explosions and gunfire; his “Transformers” movies are terrible.

Bay clearly won’t stop at butchering one popular childhood show with his terrible movies, he looks to obliterate the next.

The popularity of the Ninja Turtles has died off over time, as they have made nothing relevant for nearly a decade. Unsuccessful cartoons, movies and comic books have plagued the Ninja Turtles for a while.

The Turtles were dying, but with Bay at work on their next movie, consider them already dead.

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