Questions you’ll end up dodging during Thanksgiving break

By Isabel Miller and Erin Douglas

Thanksgiving is a time for students to come home from school to have a relaxing week off filled with food, but often times they’re stuck dodging awkward questions.

So, are you seeing anyone?

This will most likely come from a nosy aunt or grandmother who wants to set you up with that nice boy or girl down the street. It’s prudent to refrain from telling your family you want to grow old alone with your 40 cats because you have given up on love for good after your third failed Tinder date. 

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Have you made any friends?

You don’t want your parents to know that you sit alone in your dorm room, with all the lights off, shoving microwave mac and cheese in your mouth as you watch Netflix. You will then be forced to make up a story of your best friend Plank who goes with you everywhere, without telling them he is actually a two-by-four piece of wood.

What are you going to do with that degree?

Telling your parents you want to major in communications or English is hard enough. Telling them that you still don’t know what you want to do with your life is even harder. Unless your degree is in business, computer science or engineering, your parents will only be able to imagine you living in a van down by the river.

I heard SIU is a party school, why do you go there?

Hiding your budding alcoholism from your extended family will be tricky, especially since aunt Karen brought all of her children. Telling your cousins your wine glass contains grape juice won’t get you that far in hiding it, especially when one of them steals a sip.

Has college made you a liberal?

Thanksgiving has always been politically charged, especially with undergrads and boomers who really don’t know what they’re talking about. When your one uncle says something that makes you want to start something, know that you are not alone. Muttering ‘okay boomer’ under your breath will be around half the talking you do during lunch. 

How are your grades?

This will come from a disappointed parent who has seen your GPA fall ever since your freshman year. 

What does that tattoo mean?

The stick and poke tattoo of a snake you got at your buddy Kyle’s apartment on a night you can’t remember isn’t the easiest to explain to your grandmother, while she’s holding the biggest bowl of mashed potatoes you’ve ever seen.

Do you want to sit at the kids’ table?

Wanting to defend that you’re old enough to be an adult, but realizing you want to avoid the conversations at the adult table won’t go unnoticed. Then, you will regret your choice as you are holding a Mickey Mouse fork and sitting in a chair that might break if you lean too far on one side. 

Do you want anything for Christmas?

Telling your grandmother that you would appreciate a check will really offend her, but who can blame you after getting presents that are a regift three years running. 

Do you really like to sleep in?

Thanks for your astute observation, aunt Bertha. When you haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep because your roommates blast Yani to “help” them study, you really want to wake up before 10 a.m. during break.

Photo and Multimedia editor Isabel Miller can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter at @IsabelMMedia.

Design Chief Erin Douglas can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter at @ErinDouglas_DE. 

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