I have proof that we are living in the year 1984. I know, you just looked at your calendar and thought, “No way, that was 30 years ago.”

But hear me out because I have several scientifically tested algorithms and theories as to why.

First off, the hair.

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Seriously, look around you at all the terrible haircuts you see. Skrillex’s half-shaved heads, mohawks that are not down the center and all different kinds of do’s I can’t even begin to know how to describe. Everyone looks like Chris Tucker from The 5th Element.

Speaking of Skrillex, that brings me to my next point: the music. We’re living in this weird sort of inbetween time where our pop music is a little indescribable. It’s like a mixture between rap, bubblegum and seizure-inducing electronic sounds. It’s like a platypus: can’t decide if it’s a duck or a beaver.

And if you take a look at pop music from 1984, you can see a distinct similarity between the two.

(Unbeknownst to most, WHAM! was way ahead of its time.)

Even more telling is the rise of Madonna. “Like a Virgin” came out in 1984 and became a huge hit. It’s still popular to this day. Hell, it could have been released last week and people would eat it up.

Hmm…a pop sensation embracing her sexuality, propelling herself into the spotlight with odd fashion choices and a strange demeanor? Sound familiar?

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That’s because it is literally Miley Cyrus.

“Okay, Seth, we get it. The culture is kind of familiar. But that doesn’t mean we are literally living in 1984.”

The country is in a recession. We have a president who is considered a demigod by his party. We have military operations in Afghanistan. We have culture wars going on left and right. And I swear to God Kevin Bacon is not aging.

But hey, it could be worse. We could be living in the book “1984,” which would suck. It’s not like we’re living in a dystopian world where the government watches our every move with sky robots, tracks our every expense, logs every Internet search we make, rolls back our civil rights, stifles our freedom of speech, bombards us with propaganda, makes up fake wars for us to fight in and locks us away with trumped up charges or no trial at all. That would be weird.

Seth Richardson can be reached at [email protected], on Twitter @EgyptianRich or by phone at 536-3311 ext. 268.