The bizarre names celebs call themselves

By Symone Woolridge

While munching on popcorn with your feet kicked up on the couch, you hear a name that makes you spit out your soda or just blatantly laugh. We all know someone with a crazy nickname, whether it makes you giggle or raise an eyebrow.

In the celebrity world, there are many stars and athletes with names that make you do both.

Rob Morrow, from the TV show “Numbers”, named his daughter something everyone would have to look for in the future. Literally. His daughter is named Tu Morrow. Her first name is bad enough, but Tu Morrow? Really?


Some people are inspired by their favorite movie or even TV show. Magician Penn Jillette considered both when he and his wife Emily Zolten named their daughter Moxie Crimefighter.

This name seriously sounds like a character from a generic 70s movie. The sad part is Jillete actually said he wanted his daughter and cops to know they’re similar, in terms of trying to fight crime.

Yes, no comment.

Former Washington Wizards player God Shammgod was originally known as Shammgod Wells until permanently changing his first name to God.

I’m sure the real God may have been a little upset after his name was used in vain. Long story short, Shammgod only lasted 20 games in the NBA.

Celebrity names are getting a little ridiculous. To be honest, there are times when I wish I could change my last name from sounding like a linebacker but jeez, is it really necessary?

The sad part is, everyone is trying so hard to be unique and now they’re just starting to sound unintelligent.


People with boring and typical names should try to add pizazz by calling themselves names like Peachy, Rainbow or Crispy. I guess they feel like they need crazy nicknames to stand out. It seems as though professional football player Walter “Sneeze” Achiu thought the same.

The commentator who does play-by-play must get a lot of people who say “bless you” after yelling “Achiu” a million times during a broadcast.

Not to be pessimistic, but I know we live in a world full of war, anger and defeat.

Some people may wish and pray for peace and happiness, while others act more drastically by changing their names to World B. Free and Metta World Peace.

World Peace and Shammgod went to high school together. Shocker right?

On another note, celebrities have not taken proper grammar into consideration during name picking either, especially Tarrold DeShaun “Rod” Smart also known as “He Hate Me.”

The new fragmented sentence on the back of his jersey caused a few jaws to drop. It’s clear everyone doesn’t necessarily love us, but He Hate Me is kind of clever.

After hearing He Hate Me’s name, I almost forgot about Chad Johnson, better known as Chad Ochocinco. I mean, there’s a lot of Ochocinco’s in the world right. This is completely normal. Let’s just change our name to numbers—in Spanish. No big deal.

Out of courtesy, I saved the best for last, only if you’re really ready to hear. Writer Paula Yates and her husband, actor and singer Michael Hutchence made my day with their children’s names and I’m sure she will make yours.

Honeyblossom, Fifi Trixibelle, Heavenly Hiranni Tiger Lilly, Little Pixie Geldof and Peaches. I wish I were kidding. I could not make this stuff up, even on a good day. I’ll just let you ponder on this last one.

Although I wish I could understand these people’s thought processes, I do not. It’s getting to a point where naming ourselves after things we see in the room like pencil, iPhone, or post-it is completely acceptable.

But on a serious note, stop. These names are giving me a headache.

Symone Woolridge can be reached at [email protected]@swoolridge_de or 536-3311 ext. 269.