Hollywood’s blunders: a top 10 list

By Jacob Pierce

There are a lot of fantastic movies out there. Films that capture our imagination and make us want to either make our own movies or just watch more good movies. It seems every time one reaches into the classic cinema bucket, there is always more to grab for.

But in an ironic kind of torture, there are always 10 times more terrible films than good ones.

This is my list of the worst films I have ever had the displeasure to see.

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10. Epic Movie/ Date Move/ Disaster Movie/ etc..: 

Forgot about these movies didn’t you? I wish I could. Parody movies died after Mel Brooks started to get older and his films’ quality deteriorated. These films never got what made Mel Brooks’ or even David Zucker’s brand of comedy. They never understood what a parody should be, and had plots driven in no direction by scenes taken from blockbuster movies, with the same jokes in every movie.

9. A Good Day to Die Hard (2013): The original “Die Hard” is an action movie masterpiece; a film firing on all cylinders. Every action movie should aspire to be this film. But after four sequels, the series has become bland and idealess. It seems this series is run by people who do not understand the first film. That is clear in this outing. An incompetent script mixed with an uncaring Bruce Willis equals what is hopefully the death of the series.

8. The Love Guru (2008): 

Two names come up when talking about falls from grace and worst movies ever. One of them is Mike Myers and his passion project called “The Love Guru”. While Myers’ brand of comedy is some of the funniest out there, this film is a comedy tragedy. Public domain style jokes and racial and offensive stereotypes ruin this movie.

7. The Last Airbender (2010): 

It was hard to choose just one M. Night Shyamalan film. The man once hailed as the next Alfred Hitchcock has made a name for himself lately for making terrible films. While personally never watching the show this was based on, it was not needed to understand the movie’s awfulness. From a mispronunciation of the main character’s name to unreadable dialogue, this film cements itself as one of the worst TV to film adaptations.

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6. The Boondocks Saints 2: All Saints Day (2009): 

While not belonging to the cult of people who love to bat for the first film, admittedly there is something to like. The second on the other hand, is just garbage. Even fans of the original have to admit this film is a disappointment. It subscribes to the types of sequels that just rehash the other film and reminisce on how great it was, instead of doing anything different.

5. Godzilla (1998): 

There has not really ever been a great American remake of a monster movie classic, however the remake of “Godzilla” from this year did just that. The same cannot be said about the 1998 remake. Directed by Roland Emmerich, a glorified disaster filmmaker, it is no wonder it has uninteresting and cliché characters and a nonsensical plot.

4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008): 

So much anticipation led up to this film, but so much disappointment followed it. The movie was made about 19 years too late. It is hard to pinpoint the downfall of this film. Maybe it was a script including a character swinging from a vine like Tarzan. Maybe it was the intrusion of Shia LaBeouf into Harrison Ford’s lead. Either way, this film whiffed big time.

3. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009): 

Michael Bay’s generic style is easy to spot. Some of his films overcome that and are great action movies. The second “Transformers” film on the other hand is a two hour and 30 minute list of everything wrong with a Michael Bay film. From the over use of explosions, to the beyond juvenile humor, to a script that can’t follow a simple story structure — simply put, this movie is terrible.

2. Grown Ups 2 (2013): 

Earlier on in this list, I mentioned the fall of two comedic talents. One was Mike Myers. The other is Adam Sandler. While there are many Adam Sandler films that could have made this list, “Grown Ups 2” is the most egregious. This film does not have a plot. It is completely comprised of stale personalities and obvious product placements. It not only shows the decline of Sandler’s career but everyone involved.

1.Batman and Robin (1997): 

And here it is, my worst film of all time. “Batman and Robin” nearly killed the idea of a cinematic Batman. This movie is just wrong in every way. Very few times can you say it is better to scrap an entire idea on a project and start over, but in this case, it was the only option. It puts a black mark on the career of everyone involved and on the film industry.

Jacob Pierce can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @JacobPierce1_DE

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