Avoid this trauma. Listen to your friends. Heed your conscience. Or at the very least, read a review. I am not Gene Siskel, but I do know that Charlie Sheen must not be allowed to make more action films and Drew Barrymore is annoying.

Granted, it is difficult to take someone’s word for something when you don’t know what she likes in the first place. So since I’m writing movie reviews for the Daily Egyptian, here is a quick wrap-up of some recent releases; perhaps this will demonstrate my cinematic tastes.

As you might have guessed, Casper was hardly the cinematic success I had hoped. Starring Bill Pullman and Christina Ricci, and based on a character from a children’s book, the movie is short on plot but long on merchandising opportunities. This movie can not decide whether to appeal to children or to adults; in the end, it appeals to neither. Skip it.

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Switching from poltergeists to Paris provides a little more entertainment. In Forget Paris, Billy Crystal and Debra Winger explore the funny side of a romance gone awry. But Winger and Crystal have no chemistry, and the only amusing parts of this film are Crystal’s portrayal of an NBA referee and Winger’s brief stint as an adhesive. Wait for video.

Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline fare better in France. French Kiss is a comedy that works, and not only because of Kline’s silly mustache. Ryan is an anal-retentive ex-American with a cheating boyfriend and a fear of flying. Kline is a French thief who has no staying power for commitment or otherwise. He steals a necklace, she steals his heart. Rush, rush, rush to the theater and bring a date.

Yearning for more exotic locales than France? Try Congo but be warned:this film contains some annoying creatures, and not all of them are wild animals. Laura Linney, Dylan Walsh and Ernie Hudson star in this complex story of greed, nature and remarkably ugly fake gorillas. Congo is not horrible, but much of the acting is stiff and stilted. The plot, which is either a search for diamonds or a sort of Jungle Book in reverse, is never clear enough to be truly engaging. It is worth seeing, but go to the matinee.

The gory jaunt through Africa may leave you feeling slightly disoriented, so opt for more comfortable ground in Iowa with two actors who rarely disappoint Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep. Bridges of Madison County is based on the story by Robert James Waller. Although it varies slightly from the book, it still will leave you weepy. The premise might sound overdone housewife and free spirit are star-crossed lovers but thanks to Streep’s lovely Italian accent and Eastwood’s icy blue eyes, enough emotion is flying around to engage even the cynical. Bring Kleenex.

More detailed reviews will follow in the coming weeks.