On a weekday afternoon, I thought I would test my luck and look for a spot on the upper level. I rounded the corner and instantly noticed that, according to Mr. Rubenzahl’s nomenclature, several vultures had set up camp. I idled on and then suddenly, like the sun bursting through on a cloudy day, a car at the end of a row pulled out of a spot. Because the spot was angled away from me (I had to go the wrong way up the row), I swerved maybe 3 feet to take the spot. Now, I would normally never dare to go up the down row, but this car was pulling out of the very last spot. The whole event lasted at most 10 seconds.

The speeding vulture started honking like crazy and, after I parked, gave me a stern lecture. She said something about being there for twenty minutes, having a class soon, and that I couldn’t just come in and take a spot. There are people waiting for these spots, she cried.

I really did not understand how I could be reproached for driving to a parking garage, seeing a space open up, and parking in it. I did not speed around any vultures or cause any near collisions. My parking lot infraction consisted of a rather innocuous 3 feet.

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My philosophy? Survival of the fittest. Whether it be skill or luck that gets you a spot, be gracious in victory, but don’t be fooled; the pedants in the parking lot would take it if they could. Drive safely, and remember he who hesitates is lost.