DE Asst. Features Editor

Tammy Bringaze says she had to deal with confusion, anger and other emotions while trying to accept her homosexual preference when she was 29 years old.

She said she attended a support group at SIUC and read various materials to help her understand the effects of coming out on herself and her family, and she said she now wants to help others deal with the same issues and provide a safe atmosphere.

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Bringaze, a graduate student in educational psychology and special education, is currently organizing the only co-ed coming-out support group through the SIUC Clinical Center. The group offers support and educational materials on the coming-out process for gays, lesbians and bisexuals, she said.

Bringaze said coming out involves the recognition of one’s sexual orientation and integrating this into his or her personal life. She said the process of coming out can take years and involves various stages that include feelings of confusion, anger and denial of one’s sexual orientation.

These feelings are very normal and are areas the group hopes to address, she said.

Bringaze said because discrimination against homosexuals and bisexuals still exists, there are many reasons for individuals to be scared of coming out. She said people can lose their housing, jobs, families and self-esteem.

Coming out is a healthy thing to do, she said. First and foremost, you feel better about yourself. Keeping this kind of secret promotes a negative self-message. Thinking that people would not like you if they knew the truth ruins your chance to have any authentic relationships.

Bringaze said she wants to create a group where individuals can be open to explore issues in a supportive atmosphere and not feel pressure to actually come out.

I’m there as a catalyst, she said. I’m not here to pressure anyone. I just lead different exercises and provide any counseling I can. The change comes from within the individual.

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Bringaze said she wanted to start the group for two different reasons. She said she felt there was only a limited number of resources available for women and men to discuss coming-out issues and also was concerned about the stigmatization facing the gay, lesbian and bisexual community.

One-third of teen suicides are committed by youths who are questioning their sexuality, she said. That’s not to say they are gay or lesbian, but they are dealing with confusing feelings and its important to reach out to these people.

Bringaze said the most important ways for people to deal with coming-out issues is to become educated and seek support.

The power of the group is an amazing thing, she said. When you are able to hear someone say, I’ve struggled with that too,’ you realize you’ re not alone.

Leslie Strategier, facilitator of Women Loving Women, a Women’s Services support group on campus, said the emergence of a new coming-out support group is a positive step on campus.

Women Loving Women’ is almost full, she said. We refer people to her group because we are limited to the number of people we can take.

Strategier said the support group offers a different view on coming out because it is co-ed.

The group has men and women discussing issues together instead of just a women’s take on the whole issue, she said.

Bringaze said individuals who are coming out need to realize their friends and families need time to deal with this issue.

If a daughter comes out to her mother, she needs to understand that her mom has to go through a coming-out process also, she said. She has to learn to deal with questions like, Why isn’t your daughter married?’

Bringaze, who plans on continuing gay, lesbian and bisexual education, said the group offers a learning experience for her.

I don’t want to sound like an expert, she said. The group is a learning experience, the same way teaching is. When you teach a class, you always walk out and learn something new.

The group guarantees individual confidentiality. Intake interviews are currently being scheduled. Contact the Clinical Center at 453-2361.