Warning ! The following material may contain levels of sarcasm

unsuitable for small children, slow-moving pets and reporters, so read at your own risk.

Over the years, I have noticed that people are taking themselves way too seriously, a condition beginning to concern me.

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Some say that it is no longer cool to rationalize or project blame for our faults on others. Others say that as a society, it is time to assign blame for social ills so that we may correct them. Still others tell you to look within to find true enlightenment. I say to these people, you are just not trying hard enough.

The art of making good excuses requires time and practice, just like anything that one wishes to do well in. Excuses provide a fantastic avenue for stress reduction and positive self-esteem. The sooner we come to believe this, the better off we can make our world.

What is really wrong with making excuses? It seems to work for everyone else. Last time I checked, it was not illegal. My frustrations come from the belief that we are not trying hard enough to come up with new and exciting rationalizations.

Every fault and politically incorrect activity can be justified with nothing more than a little creativity and ingenuity. Take this as truth, people:Your lives will be much simpler with just a smidgen of creative rationalizing.

Try this example on for size. You miss a test and your instructor has a strict policy of no make-ups without a valid, certifiable reason. You can’t tell her that you were stuck behind the tube because the damn network decided to schedule a Saved by the Bell marathon. So you wrack our brain trying to figure out what to tell the instructor. Then it hits you. Since both the network and the instructor decided to schedule two obviously conflicting events in the same time period, you are justified in lying since the instructor did not take into consideration your passion for Saved by the Bell.

Here is another one; see if you do any better. You are studying and a friend calls, wanting to go out. You have no money, so they say the night will be their treat, just go out, please. So you end up going out, getting drunk, sleeping with someone, contracting an STD and missing all your classes the next morning. Your boyfriend/girlfriend leaves you, and you really start to feel sorry for yourself. But wait, do you need to feel bad? NO ! It is not your fault. If your friend never called and bought you drinks, you would not have gotten drunk, met the disease carrier and never felt bad. It is your friend’s fault. Now you can start to feel better about yourself and tell people why.

Is anyone getting the clue here? The key is, if everything you do can be blamed on someone else which it can we can all take an easier look at our lives. This would help so many people in this world and probably cause suicide and workplace violence rates to plummet.

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If people would spend as much time trying this out as they do with self-improvement courses, not only would we save a lot of money, but we would free up a considerable amount of time.

By the way, I have to make up some credit in this political science class because my roommate keeps forgetting to remind me about the class the night before it is held. So I went to the instructor, and told him about all the car trouble I had. He made me write a Letter to the Editor for credit. So if you do not agree with what I have said here, it is not my fault. For those who find merit here, get out and try some new excuses. Make me proud.