by Young Soo Shim

The game of golf is simply confusing. Is it because I shoot as well as a Saluki golf team member one day, and play as horribly as a guy hitting the field for the first time another day? Partly. There is more to it than that.

Whether you play golf or not, I bet you know Tiger Woods is being hyped as an equivalent in golf to Michael Jordan in basketball. You might have watched his play on television at least once.

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What strikes me most is not Woods’ dazzling play. What draws my eyes most is how Woods treats his caddie who looks old enough to be his daddy.

Have you even noticed the 22-year-old golf superstar walking with pomposity as his caddie was staggering under the weight of his golf bag and probably his own age? To my eyes, the caddie had to struggle to carry his own weight.

And have you seen Woods throw a club at his caddie with an angry look after making a bad shot? And in front of thousands-strong gallery and national TV audiences? These were not quite pleasant scenes to watch, were they?

Is Woods a little bit better than Nick Price, who had his caddie Squeaky carry his bag until a few months before his death from leukemia? I don’t know. You tell me.

You might say, What’s wrong with it? This is a capitalist society in which you can do whatever you like with your own money. If you’ve got money, you can hire a 90-year-old man to polish your shoes and wash your car.

I don’t have much to say about that. But if you do really think this way, please stop reading this column right here. Further reading will be just a waste of time for you.

What about the golfer William Morgan who stands out not so much for his golf finesse than because of the ever-present burning cigar in his mouth? Is he so addicted to nicotine that he can’t take a cigar out of his mouth even during shots or putts that last only a few seconds? I really don’t know whether there is any other sport in the world that allows you to compete on a professional level with a cigar in your mouth.

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Have you ever watched a senior PGA tour on television? The players are pretty athletic-looking, aren’t they? They have such huge tummies that they can’t bend low enough to retrieve their balls out of the putting hole. And they can’t move from the tee ground to their ball a couple hundred yards away without panting like a runner at the end of a 25-mile marathon. Still, the guys pocket millions of bucks a year from golf. What a game it is.

Now we can’t help but ask a few questions. What image can youth have of golf when they see professional golfers in the prime of physical shape make pompous strides, while their older caddies are struggling to catch up with them under the weight of a set of golf clubs and the scorching summer sun? What lesson can a youth learn from a 22-year-old golf idol who hurls abusive words and looks at his aged caddie after making a bad shot? I really don’t know. It’s just confusing.

What I’d like to see from Woods is not his legendary 340-yard drive. Nor is it his winning a major tour by a record margin. Nor is it setting a money-winning record. What I really want to see from him is a minimal show of respect to his aged caddie. Why can’t Woods say a warm word or two to his caddie, such as Old man, give me the bag. I’ll carry for a while. You catch your breath and wipe the sweat off of your face.