Baseball – SIU style

They’re drunk. Beer bongs and kegs litter The Hill as fans watch baseball as if they are playing softball.

They’re a horrid example for children. I saw a grand total of two kids last weekend at Abe Martin.

They perpetuate the stereotype that SIU is a party school. One Illinois State fan yelled “Go have another beer you $#% Southern drunk!” to a fan coming back from the bathroom last weekend.

You have to love the fans on The Hill.

Seriously, you do – there is no sarcasm implied.

It’s crazy, it’s rowdy and it’s an experience every student should enjoy before leaving this school.

The fans on The Hill exemplify the perfect, well, almost perfect, synergy between alcohol and sports on a college campus.

They exhibit the best of both worlds – they are not nearly as subdued as the alcohol-deprived fans at Charlotte West Stadium, and unlike the inebriated tailgaters at football games, they pay attention to the action on the field.

Whenever they are staging a beer bong rally, they are recognizing that the team is behind and attempting to do something about it and should be commended for showing interest in the fortune of the Salukis – something that will never be said of the beer guzzling people who spend every football game outside the stadium.

These people are representatives of the student body of SIU, and I love what they bring to Abe Martin. If I had not been covering the game, I would have been out there with them – keg stands and all.

The Hill Dwellers are a unique aspect of SIU sports culture that should never die, no matter how much criticism it may receive from other schools. I’ve had students from other universities tell me our fans are nothing but drunken lunatics – which is OK.

This is isn’t Harvard. No one from SIU is likely to grow up to be president of the United States. (If there are any latter-day Paul Simons out there, prove me wrong.)

This isn’t Ohio State, where every sport is supported with the fervor of an anti-American rally in the Middle East.

And this definitely is not BYU, where virginal students drink milk, tell stories around a campfire and believe Budweiser is slang for someone you really care about.

This is SIU and this is the way we watch sports. Beer, friends and food.

The administration, all the way up to Chancellor Wendler, realizes this and is content with the house party atmosphere at Abe Martin.

A rumor had been circulating that Wendler was going to ban alcohol at Abe Martin, so I called him with plans to berate him for such a blasphemous idea.

But when I asked him about it, he seemed ignorant as an Al-Jazeera reporter. The rumor was news to him, and he went on to say he had no plans to change anything at Abe Martin.

Athletic Director Paul Kowalczyk shared the same sentiments so at least for now, The Hill is safe. But that does not mean the administration will keep it around forever, so at least attempt to act like post-Roman human beings.

Ever since broom-headed soldiers ruled the Mediterranean, people in the civilized world have been using bathrooms, and I suggest certain people, especially a certain person who tested the absorbency of his pants during the weekend, find them.

It would also be cool if The Hill people elected a leader and named him Lothar.

Aside from that, keep up what you’re doing. The groundskeeper loves you for picking up your trash and the opposing team is annoyed with your noise.

To those of you that have never been, drive your vehicle across the rugby fields and park at the top of the hill overlooking right field. Unload a keg, a grill and if you want, a couch.

Sit back, relax, watch baseball SIU style and if you want to, embrace the madness – because unless certain high-ranking people are lying, it is here to stay.