This Year In History

By Gus Bode

Over the course of 2006, many things stick out making this year one to remember. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was fired, the movie “Borat” made people laugh and cry and Anna Nicole Smith admitted to taking prescription drugs. Who knew? So here is just a small list of stories that helped make this year a little more memorable.

Got to Have a Goal

John Sanford goes for record of longest arm hair. With an average length of 4.1 inches, Sanford said he takes great care of his arm hair by shampooing and conditioning it on a regular basis. Unofficially, Sanford holds the record, but Guinness Book of World Records officials have to comb over the details of paper work before he can hold the title. Now is that cool or just gross?


‘Mad Max’ Just a Drunk

Actor Mel Gibson was arrested for driving under the influence in Malibu back in July. Gibson was not only boozing it up behind the wheel, but he also started shouting anti-Semitic accusations, such as, “The Jews are responsible for all wars in the world.” Ironically, the last film Gibson directed, “Passion of the Christ,” was labeled anti-Semitic because it depicted Jews as being responsible for the death of Jesus Christ. Gibson later issued an apology to the public and admitted to his constant battle with alcoholism. Has anyone seen the “Lethal Weapon” movies? This guy should have been locked up a long time ago.

Spears and Federline

After paying for her own engagement ring, who would have thought the marriage between singer Britney Spears and pizza deliverer Kevin Federline wouldn’t work out? But what do you expect when the men of the wedding party all wear jumpsuits with the word “Pimp” on them. The two produced children as quick as Spears produced hit singles. Jaden and Sean Federline were only born a year apart and now are part of a huge custody battle between Spears and Federline after the unhappy couple filed for divorce in November.

Jesus! Real Animals?

PETA speaks out against live nativity scenes. The nativity is the classic scene from the Bible where Jesus is born in the manger and is surrounded by barn animals. Some people got the bright idea of chaining up live animals to add a little more realism to their Christmas decoration. The animal rights group says, “Animals have been stolen and slaughtered, raped, escaped nativity scenes and been struck by cars.” What’s next, a live baby Jesus kept warm by a single heat lamp?

Will Harry Potter Die?


J.K Rowling, author of the successful children’s book series “Harry Potter,” decided not to write any more books after the seventh installment is finished. Rowling said she finished the last chapter of the series back in 1990 and has been working on the book over the past year. The book contains the death of two major characters from the series and possibly even Potter himself. The fifth Potter movie, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” is due out in July of 2007. Hollywood better get on the ball if it wants to end the movie sequels before young Harry grows up and has his own cell phone and a goatee.

Stallone Must Take Vitamins

At the age of 58, Sylvester Stallone tries to revive his career by making, possibly, the last installment of the Rocky boxing films with “Rocky Balboa.” Stallone almost literally went broke making the film, as he was rumored to have sold his dog to help pay for shopping the film. Hopefully, Stallone will make enough money to support himself until he starts his next film, “Rambo IV,” due to start filming in January.


Actor Brad Pitt and actress Angelina Jolie have been quite the popular topic of newspaper tabloids this year. The two met during the filming of the movie “Mr. And Mrs. Smith” and eventually became an item after Pitt divorced his wife at the time Jennifer Anniston. Jolie has since then adopted two children, Maddox and Zahara, from orphanages in Ethiopia. Pitt and Jolie also have one biological child, Shiloh, who was born more than a year ago. The two mega-celebrities spend the majority of their free time helping areas in the world suffering from poverty. Hopefully, their children receive the same amount of attention and aren’t the subject of a publicity stunt.

Do We Really Need That?

Jones Soda Co. releases new soda flavor – Green Pea. The company has released strange flavors, such as Fish Taco, Turkey and Gravy, and Salmon. The soft drink is supposed to go well with dinners lacking the bland taste of veggies. At least the company thought ahead by creating a ‘good before bed’ beverage called “Antacid Flavored Soda.” Yummy!

Tom Petty Quits Talking

In a recent Rolling Stone interview, musician Tom Petty said he plans not to do anymore interviews for the press. The successful rocker claims he wants to live his life instead of promoting himself all the time. “I can’t spend everyday fulfilling the needs of the media �there’s a point where you start not to like yourself,” Petty said. The future hall of famer said he wants to spend more of his free time after shows hanging out with the audience. Now, there’s a down to earth musician.

Armstrong and Crow

Racing cyclist and seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong split up with his wife singer Sheryl Crow. Armstrong took three years to fight off testicular cancer that spread into his stomach and brain. Doctors gave him a 50 percent chance of surviving. After three years, Armstrong prevailed and came back to win his first Tour de France. Armstrong met Crow shortly after and the two were married, but after Crow was diagnosed with breast cancer, Armstrong rode off into the sunset alone, stating that he couldn’t stay with Crow and talk about cancer everyday.

Gee, How Much Are Tickets?

Prince William and Harry plan a concert in memory of their mother, Princess Diana for 2007. Musicians being rumored to perform are Madonna, Beyonce and The Killers. Sir Elton John has already been confirmed to perform the concert, which will be held at Wembley Stadium. The charity concert will take place on what would have been the 46th birthday of Lady Di, and all the proceeds will go towards charities Diana herself would have supported. More than 90,000 fans are expected to attend the estimated four-hour event. Imagine the bathroom line.

‘Jack Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest’

Jack Nicholson said it was necessary to spend three months totally nude at his home in Los Angeles. This isn’t the first time Nicholson felt it was time to bare all. Back in the ’60s, Nicholson always walked around his apartment naked as a way to liberate himself from clothing and feel more comfortable with his body. During his birthday suit modeling, he even stays naked when he has company. It’s a safe bet Nicholson uses coasters rather than setting his drink between his legs.

Kid Rock and Pamela

Singer Kid Rock and actor Pamela Anderson are rumored to have filed for divorce after being married only four months. The cause of breakup was – Borat? The couple received a private screening of the movie “Borat” in which Anderson co-starred. Rock apparently wasn’t happy with the depiction of his beloved wife and told her how he felt by exclaiming, “You’re nothing but a whore! How could you do that movie?” Rock’s words didn’t rub Anderson the right way because she filed for divorce during the week of Thanksgiving.

All Panda, Baby

Scientists used Giant Panda porn to help males get in the mood and the results have been impressive. The videos show panda males mating and scientists suspect the visual images help arouse the natural instinct for mating. More than 20 pandas are expected before the end of the year. Four pairs of panda twins were born in the month of August alone. Barry White has to be playing as background music, right?

Tough Act to Follow

Michael Richards’s, who played Kramer on NBC’s “Seinfeld,” recently made a huge slip of the tongue during his performance at an L.A. comedy club. Two African-American audience members where commenting on Richards stand-up routine when Richards decided to fire back with some comments of his own. Richards screamed the derogatory ‘N’ word towards one of the men several times after yelling at him. The entire confrontation was videotaped by someone in the audience and circulated all over the entertainment world. Richards later issued a public apology on the Rev. Jesse Jackson’s radio show and hopes to heal his reputation. Ah, that Kramer. He’s a character.

Names to Remember

Peter Jennings, 67 – journalist and ABC news anchor

Ed Bradley, 65 – journalist “60 Minutes”

Steve Irwin, 44 – conservationist and television personality- “The Crocodile Hunter”

Red Buttons, 88 – actor and comedian- starred in the films “The Longest Day,” “Hatari!” and “Sayonara”

Syd Barret, 60 – musician- original member of Pink Floyd

Lou Rawls, 72 – soul and blues singer- released more than 70 albums

Aaron Spelling, 83 – producer- creator of television shows such as “Beverly Hills 90210,” “Dynasty” and “The Love Boat”

Don Knotts, 81 – actor and comedian- starred as Barney Fife on “The Andy Griffin Show” and appeared in popular films such as “The Incredible Mr. Limpet” and “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken”

Chris Penn, 40 – Actor- starred in movies such as “Reservoir Dogs,” “Pale Rider” and “Rumble Fish”

Kirby Puckett, 45 – athlete- center fielder for the Minnesota Twins

Coretta Scott King, 78 – civil rights activist and widow of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.