Dear Hollywood: Stick to stand-up

By Gus Bode

Time to be blunt, Hollywood.

Some people just aren’t funny in movies – specifically Larry the Cable Guy.

Sure, he has had all kinds of fame as the bumbling, mumbling, flannel and ball cap wearing, redneck comedian often seen wherever Jeff Foxworthy is. And this columnist is more than willing to admit to laughing at his strange one-liners always ending in “Lord, I apologize for …” when he has said something completely off-color.


And who hasn’t, in a moment of verbal weakness, said “Git-R-Done,” to someone?

But his comedy doesn’t translate beyond his stand-up. So please, Hollywood, stop asking him to star in films that probably shouldn’t have been made anyway.

When he stars in films such as “Delta Farce,” “Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector” or his newest film “Witless Protection,” set to release in February, he only helps to glorify a stereotypical redneck image, which is based on cultural ignorance.

Instead of having wit and knowledge drive these comedies, it is one dumb moment after another. “Dumb and Dumber” did it already, Hollywood. That was funny.

Larry the Cable Guy’s “Witless Protection” endeavor looks to be about as bad as a movie could possibly be. The trailer is awful, filled with images of Larry hitting a woman, pelvic thrusting and causing a room of doctors to evacuate while giving him a body cavity search.

Oh, and there is no way to forget the gem of a one-liner after Larry has experienced a particularly rough handshake.

“Man my hand ain’t been this sore since the first episode of Baywatch,” Larry the Cable Guy bemoans.


Is this really the best humor you could come up with, Hollywood?

This columnist is trying to be understanding, Hollywood. It’s rough out there for you. Your writers are on strike and your actors are in solidarity with them. But sometimes, Hollywood, you just have to know a losing venture when you see one.

Audiences can only laugh at ignorance for so long. With witty and hilarious comedies such as “Juno” opening, we know you are capable of something better.

So don’t shortchange your faithful audience with terrible movies that rely on ignorance and a redneck stand-up comic for a laugh.

Get a better script and funny actors, and let us know when you have a smart comedy worth seeing, Hollywood.

Oh, and keep Larry the Cable Guy off the silver screen. Please. He is a lot funnier late at night on Comedy Central when only infomercials are playing.

Alicia Wade can be reached at 536-3311 ext. 275 or [email protected].