I feel really bad for Tom Perkins. I mean dude has it really tough.

For those of you who don’t know, this is Tom Perkins.

Look at his face. It’s the face of a man who has been beat down for years. It’s the face of a man who knows the struggle. It’s the face of a man who has seen and known oppression to no bounds.

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That’s because Tom Perkins is a billionaire.

Yes, in a world where the minimum wage does not go as far as it used to and billionaires are making record profits, Tom knows what’s really going on.

Recently, Tom wrote in the Wall Street Journal, “I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its ‘one percent,’ namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the “rich.’”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-W_hcLXKp5w

And I sympathize with him. In the WSJ, he compared Kristallnacht, a night of coordinated attacks against Jewish people, with “progressive radicalism.” And I guess when you think about it, Kristallnacht was a shared experience and progressive radicalism talks about sharing wealth.

That’s kind of the same, right?

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OK, but there still are similarities. Give me a second and I’ll think of one.

Oh, I got one. He doesn’t have the government on his side. Yeah! You know like how the government of Germany wasn’t on the Jews’ side.

What’s that? There are literally hundreds, if not thousands of laws benefiting the wealthy? Oh…

Okay well how about this?

See the guys against Tom wear uniforms like the Nationalist Socialist Party did when they were against other marginalized groups. Granted they’re McDonald’s uniforms but it still counts, right?

Okay regardless of if there are no actual parallels so to speak of, we should still feel bad for Tom. I mean it must suck living in that beautiful mansion in Belvedere, California.

Or having that statue of a minotaur stuck in the middle of his penthouse.

And I know it sucks having a private “adventure yacht” with whatever awesome contraption this thing is. I mean his yacht is named Dr. No and literally has a James Bond vessel on it. That has to be similar to Dachau, right?

Okay Tom, I’m sorry but I think I’ve exhausted all of the avenues. The people have spoken and they think you peed on the floor.