Experimenting to achieve the big ‘O’

By Branda Mitchell, @BrandaM_DE
March 22, 2015

If I were stranded in the desert for a week and I had to choose between water or an orgasm, the orgasm wins.

There is no better feeling in the world than a great back-arching, toe-curling session with whomever you get down to business with.

The American Psychological Association found that men orgasm on average more than 90 percent of the time, while one in three women have trouble achieving one, according to Brown University Health Services.

As a woman, I already have some bones to pick with mother nature. Childbirth and cramps are one thing, but the inability to orgasm as easily as a guy is also on my list.

I had never considered this was a normal issue for other women and assumed something was wrong with me. After a Google search turned up many articles about women who also have this problem, I knew I had to solve it for myself.

To rule out any legitimate health concerns, a trip to the doctor was first. After that was squared away, I took information I found on the Internet and put it to the test.

The quickest way to learn about yourself is to fly solo before you bring in a co-pilot. Yes, that means masturbation. When you are alone, you do not have all the self-consciousness that can come with being with another. My vibrator does not care if my eyeliner makes me look like the kid from “The Grudge.”

So sit back, relax and figure out what works for you. It is much easier to get off with someone else if you already know what you like. Plus, masturbation releases endorphins and increases blood flow, so it is good for you too.

For women, slow and steady wins the race. Foreplay can make a big difference in a woman’s arousal, so take your time. The more aroused a woman is prior to having sex, the easier it is to orgasm.

Most women respond to clitoral stimulation because the female equivalent of the penis is the clitoris, not the vagina. Vaginal orgasms are harder to achieve in general, so try shifting your focus.

This is where the fun comes in with a partner: try oral. Oral is basically one of the easiest ways to get a grand finale. Take the opportunity to offer your partner some guidance because they do not know what is or is not working well.

Certain positions can also make difference.

The girl on top allows for pressure on the pelvis, which aids in achieving the big O. The girl on bottom with a pillow under her hips makes for the best angle. The Coital Alignment Technique, the best in my opinion, is another version of missionary. With slow movements, it is geared toward optimal clitoris stimulation. Think “Driving Miss Daisy” here, not “The Fast and the Furious.”

The fun of having an orgasm is finding out what works for you. Not every romp session has to end with a mind-blowing, full-body reaction, but it is great when it does. So explore yourself or your girl and have fun doing it, because once you figure it out, it is well worth it.