Black Students share their opinions about sex education in the Black community

When it comes to sex education, depending on where you live, it can be a controversial topic. One side may feel that talking about it is encouraging people to have sex. Whereas the other side sees it as a way to educate people on how to be safe when having sex. Looking specifically at the Black community, the conversation about sex education has a lot more layers to it.

Brooklyn Dean, a second-year student, said when it came time for her parents to give her the safe sex talk, they only focused on two main points.

“They talked about the ‘don’t get pregnant thing’ but I mean, it was common sense like you don’t get pregnant because you use condoms, of course they told me to use condoms,” she said.

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Dean said because her parents did not give her a more detailed sex talk, social media filled in the gaps that she had.

She said parents may be hesitant to have the safe sex talk with their kids because of certain religious views on sex.

“Some people are really religious, so it can somewhat disconnect them from actually knowing how their kid is, because if you have a really Christian, strict family, you don’t always let your family know what you’re doing, because they’re gonna be quick to judge you,” Dean said.

It can be hard for people to have certain conversations with their parents, especially ones regarding sex, because whether it be for religious reasons or something else, some parents might not be willing to talk about it, she said.

Deon Hayes, a fourth-year student, said there is a very noticeable double standard in regards to what men and women are told about how to act in regards to sex.

“I believe [the double standards] can be harmful because it’s giving out the wrong message. I really feel like men shouldn’t be praised for having so much sex,” Hayes said. “So I think just putting down someone just for having so much sex or just having sex with a lot of people, it’s just not what we need to do as a Black community or as a community period.”

This double standard in the Black community makes it hard for women, because if a woman acts the way a man is expected to act when it comes to sex, they face an unfair amount of scrutiny, he said.

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Hayes said the Black community should not shy away from talking about sex education and how to stay safe, because not talking about it does more harm than good.

Francesca Stewart, a second-year student, said although she lived in two different religious environments, the response regarding sex was the same.

“As a teenager growing up with Jehovah’s Witnesses parents, it wasn’t taught, because you’re not supposed to be having sex before marriage,” Stewart said. “But as with Christian parents, it was ‘You’re not supposed to be having sex before marriage. So why am I even having this talk with you?’”

Stewart said because her home environments didn’t really allow her to talk or ask questions about sex, she learned from school and life experience.

She said when children are not able to have those open discussions with their parents, it creates an air of awkwardness and fear around them when asking questions about sex.

“Make the upcoming kids and teenagers feel safe with what they’re doing. That it’s okay and that it is normal to want to have sex and that it’s okay to be feeling this way,” Stewart said. “Just practicing safety makes them feel comfortable enough to come to you about how they are feeling, because a lot of parents make it seem like having sex is wrong.”

If parents have these open conversations with their children when they ask about sex and not say “Wait till marriage” or “Don’t ask me anything,” that shame they might feel will probably go away, she said.

“We need to talk more about using condoms more and more about getting tested. We talk about not getting pregnant a lot, but more people need to get tested,” Dean said.

Staff reporter Janiyah Gaston can be reached at [email protected] or on Instagram @janiyah_reports. To stay up to date with all your Southern Illinois News follow the Daily Egyptian on Facebook and Twitter.

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