Opinion: 8 things more likely to happen than SIU closing campus for weather

By Gus Bode
January 30, 2019

Illinois universities, schools and government departments have closed today due to the sub-zero temperatures – yet, here we are. I started thinking on a few things that are more likely to happen than Southern shutting down the campus due to weather:

1. Receive adequate funding from the State of Illinois

Gov. Bruce Rauner talks at a press conference after speaking at the afternoon commencement ceremony. Rauner was invited to speak at the ceremony before proposing to cut funding to the university by $44 million. An online petition, which reached 2,700 signatures, was begun last month in an attempt to have him removed as the keynote speaker, stating that “Choosing him as a keynote speaker is a slap in the face to SIU students and faculty who already deal with underfunded programs and facilities.”

2. Fill Saluki Stadium for a football game

Ryan Michalesko
Football fans fill the stands during the Salukis’ 50-17 win over the Murray State Racers on Saturday, Sept. 17, 2016, at Saluki Stadium.

3. Have an administration where the majority aren’t interim

A chart detailing every interim position at SIU Carbondale. The information shown was taken from SIU’s 2018 Org Chart. (Reagan Gavin | @RGavin_DE)

4. Give the newsroom new carpet and a fresh coat of paint (pretty sure there’s some asbestos there…)

5. Not getting a ticket from parking services 

Police officers observe protesters marching down South Illinois Avenue near campus Monday during a protest organized in part by the May 2 Strike Committee. Partway through the protest, demonstrators began walking down East Grand Avenue and then to South Illinois Avenue before moving back to campus. — May 2, 2016, Carbondale, Ill.

6. Make the NCAA Basketball Tournament under Barry Hinson

Saluki coach Barry Hinson celebrates after SIU’s 89-85 win against Murray State on Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2016, at SIU Arena. (Sean Carley | @SeanMCarley)

7. Tear down Southern Hills, the towers and build new housing

The now-vacant Southern Hills Residence Hall is seen overgrown with plants Wednesday, Sept. 7, 2016, in Carbondale. The buildings have been vacant for three years and were once home to married students, staff, and faculty of SIU. (Andy Phillippe | @andyphillippede)

8. The Patriots not cheating in the Super Bowl 

Anthony Behar/Sipa USA/TNS
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (12) and New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick celebrate during the post-game ceremony for Super Bowl LI after the New England Patriots defeated the Atlanta Falcons 34-28 in overtime on Sunday, Feb. 5, 2017 at NRG Stadium.

 

Gus Bode, local Daily Egyptian funny man can be reached at [email protected] Follow the Daily Egyptian for the latest southern Illinois and SIU news.