Dude, I’m digging this whole anarchy thing we’re heading towards.

While I’m an American through and through, I enjoy a little anarchy sometimes. It’s fun to mix things up and watch the chaos. Plus the Joker was a cool character and I’m totally impressionable.

What’s this anarchy I speak of? Obamacare? Taxes? Another six years of Mitch McConnell’s turtle impressions?

No, I’m talking about this awesome new sentencing process we have in this country. You can get away with anything.

Take the case of 79-year-old Doreen Landstra. She accidentally stepped on the accelerator and killed three people.

Elderly driver killing people behind the wheel. Nothing out of the ordinary there. It happens so much people actually say old people shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

No, what’s preposterous about this case is her license was only suspended for one year.

That’s right, in Florida a person’s life is worth four months of a driver’s license.

“Now, Seth,” you must be saying as I try to ignore whatever logic you bring to this illogical article, “she was old and it was an accident. The punishment fit the crime because there really was no crime. It’s just not a case of this ‘anarchy’ in the justice system you’re talking about.”

Okay, I suppose. But what about the case of Robert H. Richards IV, heir to the du Pont estate. He was recently sentenced to probation for molesting his infant daughter.

Judge Jan Jurden said the reason for the lenient sentencing was because Richards “would not fare well in prison.”

While I can’t be sure of how people are supposed to fare in prison, I have a hunch the answer is typically “not well.”

“Okay, well THAT was a miscarriage of justice,” you’re probably saying as you continue to disagree with me even though you should understand this formula by now. “But it’s not indicative of a problem with the justice system.”

Alright, well how about someone who wasn’t sentenced at all?

Ethan Couch, a spoiled, wealthy brat from Texas was drunk driving and killed four people. When his case went to trial, he was sentenced to rehab because of affluenza, what can only be described as having so much money you literally disregard people’s lives.

That’s right, this kid killed four people and injured two more and was sentenced to rehab. REHAB! And probably not cellar-of-an-old-medical-building rehab, but the Sandals Resort rehab with a full-time spa and beachfront location.

Because he’s suffering, you know?

So with the upheaval of the justice system, I say it’s high time we all start going a little crazy. Maybe start a riot or rob a bank or jaywalk flagrantly in front of a cop.

After all, you’ll probably just get probation, provided you’re not a minority or poor