DE Assistant Sports Editor

Watching President Clinton bring Carbondale and SIUC to a standstill Monday afternoon made me wonder what things I would change about the sporting world if I were in his position for a day.

The first thing I would do is outlaw AstroTurf-turf in every ballpark in the United States. Not only has it shortened or ended numerous athletes’ careers, but it’s just plain ugly. I can’t imagine players like Babe Ruth, Willie Mays or Gale Sayers running around on a green carpet, so why should I watch Ken Griffey Jr., Frank Thomas or Barry Sanders run on one now?

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I’d also order the NFL to loosen up. When I turn my television on Sunday and Monday, I expect to see guys high-fiving and head-butting each other and dancing around even if it isn’t pretty. I’m tired of watching someone make a good play and looking around for an official instead of getting pumped-up about it. I don’t want to see robots on the field. If I want to see that, I’ll buy that game with the plastic players and the foam rubber footballs.

Speaking of football … I’d get rid of this taking-a-knee-with-two- minutes-left-in-the-game stuff. It’s ridiculous. The last time I checked, the game is 60 minutes, not 55 or 58. Any coach who had his quarterback kneel on the ball at the end of the game and then say, my guys gave 110 percent today, would jump to the front of the line of audits come tax time.

Athletes making millions of dollars who complain because he and the team are a million dollars apart in negotiations would have to pay a complainers tax. With the way athletes complain about their contracts, the federal deficit could be significantly cut.

Network television wouldn’t be able to tell hockey teams to cut down the fighting just because they are on national television either. Like it or not, fighting is part of the game and taking that away handcuffs the players who like to play physical hockey. Well, handcuffs may be a wrong choice of words, but I think you get the picture.

These are just a few of the things I would change in sports, but there are some things that I would keep around.

I’d stick with the designated hitter rule in the American League. It’s not as detrimental to the strategy of the game as most people seem to think. Besides, with the boredom that watching a game on television creates, a slugfest sometimes breaks the monotony.

Although it’s in its first official year, the new wild-card playoff format in baseball shouldn’t be changed. It gives teams who have good seasons a chance to be rewarded for it. Without this system, three of the four playoff races would have been over in mid-July.

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And last, but not least, the college football national championship. Keep it the way it is. It’s one of the debates in sports that still has any reason to be debated. Three different polls (AP, UPI and USA Today/CNN) means the possibility of three choices for a national champ.

The proposed playoff format of No. 1 vs. No. 2, No. 3 vs. No. 4, etc. really doesn’t settle things, because teams will pad their schedules with cupcakes so they don’t screw up their bid for the title.

I guess being president for a day is a pretty tough job, but it could be fun. Tomorrow, I think I’ll go after team owners!