Daily Egyptian

Memoirs from the missing Grey Dawg

By Marissa Novel, @MarissaNovelDE

Dawg’s log: June 7, 2015

It has been about three days since I was stolen from my short-term home in the auxiliary locker of Lingle Hall.

As I was looking forward to airing out after my stuffy stay in the arena equipment room, I heard a rustle behind the locker door. Suddenly out of the darkness, the locker door opened and an unknown figure cupped my mouth with what I suspect to be a cloth covered in chloroform.

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After coming to my senses, I woke blindfolded in the trunk of an unfamiliar vehicle. Frightened and alone, I tried to escape but realized all four of my paws had been bound tightly with thick rope. I bounced around the trunk for what seemed like an eternity until finally stopping.

Still blindfolded, I could see small glimpses of sunlight peering from beneath the restrictive cloth. Little did I know, that would be the last bit of sun I would see for a while.

I was violently pushed into another closet, this one much smaller and mustier. I have been here ever since.

Dawg’s log: June 18, 2015

I am seething with jealous rage.

I overheard my suspected kidnapper talking to an unknown voice outside the closet. Apparently, after the news of my disappearance came out and a search party could not find me, a donor has decided to give a new Grey Dawg free of cost.

How could they replace me? Did I mean nothing to them? How long were they searching for me? Is there any point in living anymore?

The half slice of white bread and small glass of milk my kidnapper gives me weekly is providing me with sustenance. What was once the highlight of my week is now my demise. I would rather starve than stay in this lonely hole while my replacement is galavanting about my precious campus, forging a new friendship with my dearest Brown Dawg.

Dawg’s log: July 4, 2015

After about a month of nearly complete solitude in the closet, I long desperately for human interaction. This is the longest duration of time I have been hollow. I feel empty and soulless without my human counterpart.

The sounds of the applause I used to hear from my fellow Salukis and the squeaking of basketball shoes has almost escaped my memory.

Brown Dawg’s image is still in my mind, but I am not sure for how long.

Dawg’s log: Aug. 18, 2015

Based on the wretched heat in this non-air-conditioned closet and my severe allergies, it must be nearing football season. I have forgotten the delicate scent of a fresh pig skin and the feel of the stadium’s turf under my large paws.

The whereabouts of my replacement are unknown, but my utter disgust for him remains.

Will I ever be found?

All of the information mentioned in this article is satirical and the Daily Egyptian and Marissa Novel are not associated in any way with the disappearance of Grey Dawg.

Marissa Novel can be reached at [email protected]

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