Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, haunted houses have moved far beyond the darkened room with a guy in a latex mask making more-sick-than-scary noises at you days. The haunted houses in the St. Louis area are horror theme parks with truly impressive special effects and hand-picked actors dedicated to scaring you silly.

One of the largest and most elaborate of these haunted houses is Silo-X.

Silo-X is a nuclear nightmare, a major missile warhead meltdown, madness, mutants and mayhem abound in the monstrous mazes, the scary sounding voice on the Silo-X hotline says. Silo-X is the only national chain of haunted houses with over 1.5 million terrified customers.

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While there are chain branches of the Silo-X horror theme park in Dallas and Boston, the closest one is in St. Louis. Admission is $13, and it is open from 7:30 to 11 p.m. Thursday and Sunday, and from 7:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. Friday and Saturday. It’s open from Oct. 27 until Nov. 1.

Silo-X is located at 899 Meramec Station Road in Valley Park, just north of I-44. It’ll be easy to find, just look for the search lights and listen for the screams.

For more information about Silo-X call its hotline at 1-888-81-SILOX or look at its web page at www.silox.com. A word of warning though, Silo-X is an intense experience and not for the faint hearted. Don’t go if you are suffering from epilepsy, heart disease or have a temporary cast on because it is a rough ride. But Silo-X has special set-ups for handicapped access.

Silo-X isn’t the only show in town though. It has some stiff competition in the form of Lemp Shocktoberfest at the Haunted Caverns of the Lemp Brewery and Dr. Zurheide’s Haunted Asylum. The caverns have a prehistoric theme, and the Haunted Asylum has all the amenities of a 19th-century insane asylum.

Both of these scary places are located on Lemp Avenue, north of Broadway. They are open from 7 to 11 p.m. Sunday through Thursday and from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday through Nov. 1.

Admission is $12 for the Dr. Zurheide’s Haunted Asylum and $13 for the Haunted Caverns of The Lemp Brewery. For more information call (314) 664-6668 and listen to what the voices have to tell you.

In addition to these giant productions there is the ever popular Six Flags Fright Night that runs through Oct. 26.

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For $38.89 for adults, and $26.57 for children ages 4 to 10, patrons can ride the rides, see the spooky shows and take the children to the haunted house, which is designed to be scary enough to entertain them, but not so scary that you’ll have to take them to the psychiatrist for counseling afterward. The haunted house is free with admission to the park and is open from 6 p.m. until midnight on Fridays, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. on Saturdays and from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Sundays. For more information call (314) 938-4800.

If you want something fairly spooky but also somewhat educational, there are two tours of haunted houses and spooky sites in Alton. And both of them include a meal so you won’t have to go steal candy from trick or treaters to keep from going hungry.

Call 618-466-8693 for the Haunted Past of Alton tour, sponsored by Shirley a psychic guide, or call 618-462-4009 for the Spirits are with Us Haunted History IV, which is sponsored by Antoinette, another psychic guide. These tours cost $38 each and start at 6:30 p.m. Call ahead because they require reservations.

No matter which spooky St. Louis area spot you choose to patronize, the odds are you’ll have one ghost of a time. So grab your favorite ghoul, or if you prefer, your mummy, and head to St. Louis where fun is a scream.