Take me out to the ballgame? Thanks, but no thanks.

Peanuts and Cracker Jack at Wrigley Field?

Sorry, but I prefer the nachos and cheese at the United Center. I would even settle for Spam and crackers at a turnover-filled, lackluster, over-promoted game between the New York Liberty and Houston Comets simply for the fact that baseball does not provide half the excitement of games played on the hardwood. The sport formerly known as America’s favorite pastime has taken a back seat, as it rightfully should.

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Basketball is a game of constant motion, and play only stops for brief intervals. Baseball is a slow-paced game for the athletically challenged.

Can you imagine Cecil Fielder, Mo Vaughn or former MLB star John Kruk without chewing tobacco or Bud Light breaks. And defensively, the players sit patiently in the outfield and wait for a ball to come to them.

How exciting would it be if David Robinson sat in the paint and waited for Hakeem Olajuwon to shoot the ball?

I admit some of the diving catches can be impressive, but face it, Casey Martin could play first base golf cart and all. I’m pretty sure he could be more mobile on the bag than Kruk or Fielder.

Spring is supposedly the time to catch the fever. I can relate because my head becomes nauseous knowing that Cubs and Braves telecasts will interrupt TBS and WGN afternoon programming. Instead of The Flinstones or Saved by the Bell reruns, it’s four hours of complete boredom.

The sport of baseball or shall we say extra-curricular activity for out-of-shape wannabee athletes is the complete of opposite of basketball. The action is non-stop on the court, and in a blink of an eye spectators can miss a Shawn Kemp jam.

One close of an eye at a any Major League Baseball game could become the first of many short naps over the course of nine innings. Or maybe wake up to see Greg Maddux intentionally walk a batter.

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Basketball? It would never happen.

It is a sport, as well as a form of public entertainment. The only thing intentionally done should be to talk trash after dunking in somebody’s face.

That’s what people want to see.

When is the last time any of you saw two baseball players go back-and-forth at each other like old neighborhood friends Steve Smith and Chris Webber did earlier this season? Or, how many remember the heated battle between Larry Bird and Chuck Person during the late ’80s?

Nobody gave anybody anything for free, and this attracts fans. Jack Nicholson at the Great Western Forum. Jack Haley during Chicago’s championship run. And who could forget Spike Lee’s antics with Reggie Miller at Madison Square Garden.

Baseball just does not create enough energy to make a die-hard fan argue with a player. The only way Spike would make it to Yankee Stadium was if he forgot to Get on the Bus to Madison Square Garden.

And the future looks pretty bleak for baseball.

Grant Hill. Kobe Bryant. Shaquille O’Neal.

Those are three strikes that should definitely keep baseball out of the old ballgame.