by Sean A. Reisdorf

On the surface it seems like a harmless word that requires little thought. However, after many exhaustive discussions with many people it becomes clear that we do not all have the same understanding of the word.

If anyone reading this has ever watched any television, their opinion may have been influenced by many shows depicting this word. From shows about a group of grown adults who rarely see each other outside their neighborhood watering hole to a group of maturing 20-somethings who have nothing better to do all day but sit around in a coffee shop and complain about life.

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As Christmas is now a memory for most, we now enter a season of depression for many who may not feel that they fit into this scene of life with friends. For those that are strong like myself, we realize that this word is just that a word. If you stop and think what is a friend, you may find like I have, that you have few, if any.

For most, the impression we get is from our surroundings. People we know that talk about their friends, television shows that create unrealistic pictures of friendships or those memories of past relationships of high school or others when this word, friendship meant something.

In general, my definition of a true friend is part sibling, parent, child, lover and stranger. However, For most that think little of this word, the true definition of a friendship would be better defined as an acquaintance. That is of people we know well enough to hold a conversation with, yet stranger enough to forget about a year later. Some of these so-called friends are as follows:1. Needers. You know the type the ones that only talk to you when they need something. I have many of these. Being an automotive technician, it is my endless list of so-called friends that only associate with me when they are in need.

2. Criers. The group of friends that only need you when they have a problem and want a shoulder to cry on.

3. Gossipers. No explanation needed here.

4. Loners. This is the group that can fall into any of the former categories but only come to you because all other resources are busy or unavailable.

This list goes on for awhile, but I will stop it here because there is only one other group I need to mention. This group has no title. These are the people that you thought were friends but now are too good or too busy for you. You try to maintain some type of relationship with them, but they always seem to be annoyed by you.

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That is why I ask, what is this word friends? Isn’t a friend someone that you have for life? If you say friends come and go, I must ask, why? Shouldn’t a friend be there to the end? Even after death, they are still your friend.

Yet society today says that our friends change as we do. To this I say that after we have grown and started a life of our own, completed high school and college if you like, shouldn’t our friends be just that friends? Why is it that we assume friends come and go out of our life. Isn’t that an acquaintance? Friendship is life long, not just a fling. Those are one night stands, and that’s a different topic.

The question I have to ask society is this:If friends are a part of everyone’s life and everyone’s life is different, then doesn’t that make the words friend(s)/friendship(s) relative? In such that everyone has a different example of what a friend is and in that there is no such word as friend(s)/friendship(s)?

So the next time you classify someone as a friend, think about what you are saying. Friend is a word that should not be taken lightly like in grade school. The word friend means something to some of us and if society didn’t use it in such a slang form, maybe a special person and society could actually count on their friend(s) again.