Have you ever, while out walking around campus, look at the faces, or more importantly the eyes, of those that pass you by? Perhaps it’s just the contemplative loneliness of the day but maybe it’s more. The mind likes to drift back when you are alone, thinking up and recalling the most minuscule to the life-changing memories that reside in us all. Why is it that memories bring melancholy? And why is it that they have a hold of us so much?

We are all products of our history. Who we are is based on our experiences in life, good or bad. They give birth to our thoughts and outlooks and even how we approach the rest of our lives. They can push us forward, but they often seem to hold us back, making us harbor some form of resentment and hate. We place blame on our failures to a bad hand dealt to us by life. We shun society and develop apathy. So what do we do? How do we make amends with those things in our life that seem to hold us back and hinder our performance? The answer is that we shouldn’t do a thing concerning our memories.

It’s impossible to alter your physical reality, past or present. You can pray, but as soon as you say amen those things are still there. You can drink, shoot or smoke the pain away, but when you sober up the pain is still there. So, the way to end the pain is to make sure it never goes past you. All the resentment, all the hate, all the disease brought on by your lifestyle to make life more bearable is just passed on to your children (if you have any). Every negative aspect that is inside you will eventually go somewhere else. Without wisdom and knowledge the sins of the father, will be visited upon the children.

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The best approach I see to conquer this is to sit back and analyze yourself. Find out who you are and how and why you got to the position you are in. If you look at yourself and you don’t like what you see, find out what those things are, why they are there, and correct them how you see fit. Negatives can be turned to positives.

Zach De La Rocha once said, Anger is a gift. Nothing significant in the way of change has ever been done without anger in mind. I’m not suggesting that people dismiss their history and smile and frolic in a field of flowers. Life doesn’t work that way. We just don’t forget about ourselves. We are haunted continuously by ghosts in our head, but it is in our control as to whether or not we let those ghosts put chains on us.

There are so many different ways you can look at this, from physical to mental. The bottom line is that each one of us can explain why we look or feel about things the way we do, but regardless of the reasons our life takes the form that it is, we have no reason to blame anyone but ourselves if we let our failures or the sins of our father dictate our path.

This column may just be the politically correct whining of a Generation Xer, but oh well. I’m just trying to find my way with the help of God, and be a good man in a not so good world. I refuse to relive my family’s or my world’s history.