Lately whenever I speak to someone that I haven’t seen in awhile, I will casually mention that I’m going to graduate in May. The person will then take a few steps back, give my a funeral visitation look of pity, then quickly recall a meeting that they are remarkably late for. I’m about to cross over, and I’ve the stench of death.

I’m going to graduate in less than a month, and that is a cold, hard fact that I can do nothing about, really. Some have suggested that I immediately change majors, which I would consider, except that the announcements have already been placed in the mail. Others tell me to go on to graduate school, which is another possibility, except that the deadlines are past, I’m hopelessly in debt, and I’m tired of school. Go to Europe, others suggest. Then what? I ask. You discover that there is no Then what’ when it comes to running away to Europe. I considered joining the Peace Corps early on this year, but then I was informed that they don’t send a lot of just-graduated history majors to the Caribbean.

So right now, I’m afraid of a lot of different things. I’m afraid of not being able to find a job, but of course I’m terrified of the thought of the alternative. I’m worried about those pesky student loans that must be paid back, and I’m upset about the prospect of leaving a lot of my friends behind. What if I can’t find a job, and I’m forced to go back to work at the local Wal-Mart as the guy who makes certain that you have plenty of detergent to choose from? I’m going to graduate, and I’m scared.

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For those of you experiencing the same thing, my sincere sympathy. For you others that are only amused at our anguish, here in one simple rule to live by.

Hang on as long as you can, just like Mellencamp said in that song. Hang on as long as you can, because change is coming real soon, to make you women and men.

And I don’t mean extend your collegiate career indefinitely, though that certainly is a viable option. I mean don’t let your youth go to waste. Don’t take things for granted. Savor every smile from every pretty girl. Enjoy those hard-earned top grades, and laugh off the ones that aren’t as impressive. You have to grasp those silly little conversations that you have with your roommates the ones about waking up with only one eyebrow with all your might. Someday your conversations will be much more somber. Study hard, because you’re only wasting money and time if you don’t. Buy a round for your close friends to let them know that they’re appreciated. Admire the beauty of this campus, and quit griping about not finding a place to park.

The bottom line, you can only be a foolhardy college student filled with an arrogant optimism toward the future one time in your life. For your own peace of mind when you begin to age, don’t leave this place without a picture book overflowing with golden age memoirs.