Why do I include myself in such an elite group of people? Quite simply, I am the go- to guy for the voiceless masses. I am the rally cry of the subdued public opinion. I traverse campus daily and between comments of what a jerk I am, I actually have those that suggest subjects for me to write on because they know what a large reader base I have. They, too, want their voice to be heard (in my own words, of course).

It’s a great feeling to know I am in the thoughts of the student body. I believe I offer a service by entertaining you each week. I talk about unpopular subjects that would make the average person un-cool, but since I am so great, I don’t have that fear.

It’s amazing how many guys come up to me and express agreement to the sentiment of my statements. The male stereotype is to like women, and the less clothes they wear the more you should like them. I tend to disagree with this, and if I can make one female change her ways and start respecting herself, then I have served my purpose.

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I must admit I am also somewhat of a ladies’ man. I can’t help it; chicks dig me. If you think about it, what other guy can say every Monday hundreds of women on campus are thinking of him? No matter if you love me or hate me, you read my articles and I love you for it.

I don’t blame you; I like reading my column too! In fact, the only thing I like reading more than my own column is Dormant Life and Let’s Save Decatur. I suggest these as a light-hearted alternative to my witty banter.

I had a guy approach me and tell me I need to stop writing my column. I asked him why and he asked me how I planned to get any women when I write the way I do. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get this straight; I have more important things to do right now than to look for a girlfriend, and if my column describes you, then I don’t want to be with you anyway.

Here is the problem:so many people are concerned with the thoughts of the opposite sex and not with schoolwork. When you go on a job interview, they don’t ask how many chicks you bagged in school; they are looking for a degree.

Now I want to address an issue, but this week I will do it in a different way. Instead of bashing people, I will talk about the good ones. When women get mad at my column I can only assume it is because they see a little bit of themselves in it – or a lot, as the case may be.

There are, however, several women that don’t fall into this category and it would be impossible for me to name all of them because I don’t know 100 percent of the student population, but I can address the greek system by houses.

So let’s look at this. I would first like to praise Alpha Gamma Delta; not one lady from that house has spoken to me out of anger and this is simply because they conduct themselves as such – ladies. I respect them because they command respect. Just to show I am being fair, I must also include Delta Zeta. I don’t like the house, but at the same time they have class and command respect as well. These women represent what all women should be, two houses of remarkable women.

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See, I can say nice things to people if I want to. In closing, I don’t speak for Carboz; these are my own views. The only thing mentioned about Carboz was that if you have a legitimate beef, you should attend fight night to vent your frustrations. My views in no way reflect those of Carboz, its owners or its staff.