I am cold. I am lonely. I feel the smell of abandonment in the air.

I am light-colored; I am flat and people walk all over me.

I am not popular and always fade into oblivion as the fall progresses.

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I am a McAndrew Stadium bleacher.

It’s a sad and depressing life, especially toward the end of the season, but I thought this year would be different. But I learned the awful truth last week.

Why did you stand me up on Saturday? Was it the weather? Was it the fact the game was on TV? Or – and this is probably the case – do you think the bleachers at the SIU Arena are more attractive than me?

Go ahead and say it. You like basketball more than football. It’s OK. I’ve learned to live with it. It’s hard to compete against a team that plays indoors and went to the Sweet 16.

But why does it have to happen at my expense? I cannot help but feel unattractive when more people choose to sit on my counterparts in the Arena for a basketball exhibition, yes, a freaking exhibition, than placate their posteriors on myself for an actual game.

Last Friday, 3,321 of you migrated to the arena to see the SIU basketball team stomp a group of mediocre professionals from another country. But the following afternoon, only 3,217 of you decided it was worth your while to see Kill and company take on Indiana State.

It is not basketball season yet, and I was really looking forward to this game after the team responsible for my social life was on the road for three weeks. But very few people showed, up and it is not doing wonders for my self-esteem. Are you deliberately hurting my feelings or are you just horribly inconsiderate?

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“I don’t know the mind of Saluki football fans,” said quarterback Joel Sambursky about Saturday’s low attendance. “I bet the weather, the TV and all that played a role in it, but I don’t know why a lot of people weren’t here.”

And neither do I. Despite three straight losses, it would be worth the free, yes free, price of admission to see the Salukis defeat the Sycamores for the first time since 1993. They did not succeed, but it was entertaining. The game was not over until the final minute, so a win was possible. Not to mention a crowd, and I know this is a foreign concept to some, would have helped put SIU over the top.

I’m sorry. I get carried away sometimes and I apologize. I appreciate those of you who did show up, but I do have one complaint. Can you be a little louder and quite possibly a bit less comatose? My friend Row G was subjected to the humiliation of supporting a group of Indiana State fans led by a curly-haired idiot who shook water bottles full of coins the entire game. No one shouted them down or even attempted to scream louder than the infidels from Terre Haute.

If you have given up on this team, I don’t blame you. I’m as sick of seeing running backs writhe in pain as anyone else and I know the playoffs are out of the question. But do not jump the gun on basketball season yet, or at least remember that football season is not over. The bleachers and the team still have one game left, and we would like some company.

The game will go on whether you are there or not, but for some of us, the crowd is the whole purpose of the game.

“I know I haven’t given up on the team, but as far as the campus, I’m not concerned if the campus is totally for this team or not,” Sambursky said. “Obviously, it’s very encouraging when a lot of people show up to support the football team, and it’s very discouraging when they don’t, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m not here to play in front of 90,000 people. I’m just here to play the game.”

That’s easy for him to say. He has other things in his life. He has classes, friends, legs and opposable thumbs. If people do not show up for football games, his life does not end.

But mine does, and I have been so lonely the past few seasons my life may as well be over. I have made my decision and this is my cry for help. If you do not show up Saturday, I am committing suicide.

You will miss me next season when Mo is back and the Salukis are in the playoffs.

Michael is a senior in journalism. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the Daily Egyptian.