If any of you know me, you’ll know that I’m from Australia. I live in the suburbs of Melbourne, Blackburn South.

“Melbourne?” you say? It’s located in the state of Victoria, which is on the Southeast corner of Australia.

“Australia?” you say? OK, if you don’t know where Australia is, you are the dumbest schmuck there is.

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What can I tell ya about Australia? Well, I reckon it’s a much better place to live in than America or anywhere else in the world. Don’t get me wrong though, I love America, and I love being here. I’ve always wanted to come here, but Australia is way more laid back than America.

America seems always busy and fast. The standard of living is easier in Oz, but I reckon if you want a job and want earn a lot of money, being in America is the best place to be.

There were a few things I had to adjust to when I came here. First, it was the jet lag. Australia is around 15 hours ahead of the states. The flight is around 21 hours. I still haven’t caught up with my sleep yet, but my eating schedule is fine.

The next thing I had to get use to was repeating some of my words when I spoke and explaining what a word I said meant. For example, I asked my mate if I could use his dunny.

I’ve had to repeat my name I don’t know how many times.

“Hi, my names Peter.”

(Confusion on persons face) “Pedro?”

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(I put on American accent”) “Peter”

Then I had to get used to taxes. In Australia, prices include the tax in them already, so whatever is on the price tag is what you pay. So when I went to Burger King (called Hungry Jacks in Australia) I had a little dispute with the cashier. I go up to the guy and ask for a #1, the whopper meal, which cost something like $4.15. The guy calls out the order and then says, “that’ll be $4.47 please”

I was about to give him the money but stopped. I looked up at the price and then at him. I was thinking “this guy is trying to rip 30 cents off me, what a dodgy fella!” So I tell him “but it says $4.15 up there”, and he says “Yeah, but its $4.47 including tax” and I was like “Oh”. So yea, had to adjust to that.

I have been getting a few stereotypical comments about Australia, and no, we don’t ride kangaroos to school, we don’t all live in the bush, we don’t wrestle crocodiles in our backyards and yes, we do have airports. How the heck do you think I ended up here?

And no, we don’t always see kangaroos like Americans see squirrels. If you want to see a kangaroo, a koala bear, platypus, wombat, emu or an echidna, you’d need to go out to either the zoo or the bush.

Yes, Aborigines are the native Australians, but like the Indians in America, they are almost extinct! Haha, just joking. No seriously, they are around, you just need to go to the zoo or the bush to find ’em. Haha, just joking again. Oh gawd I crack myself up.

Oh, that’s another thing. Aussie humor is way different than American humor. We are more sarcastic.

OK, but really, back to the abo’s, they are around, and I think most of them are located in the Northern Territory. I don’t think I’ve seen an Aborigine in Melbourne, nor Sydney, nor Queensland. I saw a lot in the Northern Territory, though. Woop, wait, I did have an aborigine friend in high school, but he’s the only exception.

Oh! Another thing I had to adjust to was the different hand shakes. Oh man! I was absolutely baffled by what you Americans could do with a handshake. One of my American mates goes to shake my hand as we were saying goodbye, and he shook my hand in a way I had not seen before.

Australians just do the normal hand shake, and if we feel adventurous, we’ll go for the fist hand shake, “oOoOoO”. But anyway, when my friend shook my hand, I was like “whoa, what did you just do? Whoa, whoa, wait, show me again?” He just laughed, said “simple” and showed me.

Oh, and lastly, the biggest thing I had to adjust to was girls falling to my feet asking me for a date just for the one night because they just loved my accent. I’m still trying to adjust because I’m not use to saying “no” more than 10 times a day.

Sure, Australians are known for their one-night stands, but I can only do so many one-night stands a week. I gotta study, I gotta play tennis, socialize, play XBOX…haha, just kiddin!

No, but America isn’t that much more different than Australia. We all basically live the same way. Just minor differences. If any of you ever do go to Australia, I recommend going to Queensland. Queensland is basically the California of Australia with nice warm weather, beaches, hot girls – oh, ya mama! And to finish off, I want to make one last statement – you guys drive on the wrong side of the road!