What is on The Mind of a Liberal?

By Gus Bode

I talk to liberals (many on the fringes of the left-wing) on a fairly regular basis. I am not going to pretend I understand their way of thinking because I do not. But, after years of political discussions with them, I think I can at the very least summarize their viewpoint.

First and foremost, Bush is a dumb liar. It does not matter he went to Yale, his critics claim, because his daddy went there. (Of course, being admitted and actually graduating with a degree are two different things.) Add to the fact he received an MBA from Harvard and was elected governor of Texas twice and the case for Bush’s dullness becomes fairly weak.

But, even if he is not dumb, he is definitely a liar. The proof for this is that Bush said Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction (along with Clinton, Tony Blair, the CIA, British Intelligence, Spanish Prime Minister Aznar, Australia and approximately forty other countries in the “Coalition of the Willing” against Iraq), but there is a CHANCE Iraq might not have them anymore.


Of course there is also a possibility the WMDs are in Syria, buried in the desert, or were destroyed immediately prior to the war. There is also the chance Bush (and everybody else) was simply incorrect. But liberals disregard all of this and insist Bush is a liar.

Recently, to the thrill of lefties, Paul O’Neill and Richard Clarke, two former Bush administration officials, have viciously lashed out against the president. However, both have serious credibility problems. Paul O’Neill was fired from the Bush administration (so he possibly holds a grudge), and Richard Clarke has already been caught in several inconsistencies (for example, he praised Bush’s leadership during 9/11 in his resignation letter, then says the exact opposite in his book.)

Liberals point to books such as these and insist they are “proof” of Bush’s lies, but ignore books written by Dick Morris (a former Clinton adviser) and others who blame Clinton for the terrorism crisis we face today with al Qaeda, Iraq and North Korea.

And as the great Rush Limbaugh astutely recognized, liberals are more concerned about Europeans liking us than they are terrorists killing us.

On domestic and social issues, liberals seem to have some odd ideas as well, but I think I have pinned these down as well.

It is okay to kill innocent, unborn children, but it is not okay to kill convicted criminals.

Corporate America is the root of all evil because of its money-hungry ways, but liberals are upset when evil Corporate America sends their jobs abroad.


Moreover, it is Bush’s fault when American corporations outsource their jobs to other countries, even though Clinton was the one who signed NAFTA into law. (They also ignore the fact John Kerry’s wife’s company, Heinz Ketchup, has 57 of its approximately 80 factories located offshore.)

When Bush cuts taxes to help bring corporations back to the United States, liberals blame him for giving the wealthy a tax cut.

Christians should not express their viewpoints on social behavior, but instead should be more tolerant of other people’s viewpoints on social behavior.

God, prayers and the Pledge of Allegiance do not belong in our schools, but condoms, atheism and moral relativism do.

So, there you have it. The above is an accurate portrayal of how liberals think, and is also an accurate summary of the Kerry platform. Some may call these beliefs “unfounded”; others simply call them “foolish.” I prefer “unimaginably ludicrous.”

Alex is a senior in microbiology. Political hot zone appears every Thursday. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the DAILY EGYPTIAN.