Column: Helpful hints
January 31, 2008
My name is not Mystery, and I am not proclaiming to be any type of expert. I have, however, made some mistakes in the world of college dating, and those have to count for something.
I decided to boil down these life lessons into a few helpful hints.
* Communication sets the standard. It is the key to any good relationship.
Advertisement
Effectively communicating how one feels in a relationship is necessary for its success; a relationship without open and honest exchanges is doomed.
If there is something that your partner does that upsets you, you need to communicate that to them in an effective manner. Otherwise how is anything going to change?
This communication is not meant to be a constant nag session (that can kill the relationship too). When entering a relationship with someone, you do it accepting their flaws as well as their strengths. But staying open and honest about one’s feelings is always the best policy. An environment wherein two people feel that they can be honest and open with each other is going to make life easier, even if the relationship sours.
In the next two minutes you will see at least three people who are in relationships that they are not happy with. Personal experience has shown me that bad communication is almost always the source. The longer one lies to themselves and their partner about how they feel, the worse it inevitably gets. So be honest with each other, and don’t be afraid to say what you feel.
* Long distance relationships hardly ever work.
I know you think your significant other back home and you are going to work through the distance. Chances are that you are not. One of the biggest killers of college relationships is distance. This is just natural and human.
Many people start college with a long distance relationship. It can work for a while and people try. There are the weekend warriors who drive every Friday to spend time with their partner. However, the strain that is put on both people generally ends up being too much.
Advertisement*
This is a time where people meet new people and grow. And when someone is forced to ignore what he or she can actually see for something they have to wait for, well most aren’t that patient. And they shouldn’t necessarily have to be.
There are some people who do make the distance work, but they are few and far between, and it is simply too much for the average relationship. So rather than head to the graveyard of the long distance relationship, re-evaluate your relationship. The sooner that you and your significant other accept that you are going to meet new people, the better the chance that the two of you can preserve at least your friendship.
So there you are – relationship advice from a guy who knows that he doesn’t know anything.
O’Connor is a junior studying political science.
Advertisement