Dear Hollywood: A Myer of mediocrity

By Gus Bode

Hollywood, it’s difficult to tell you this, but sometimes a look at the harsh reality of the wrongs you’re committing is needed to get you to understand.

So here it is, Hollywood: Mike Myers hasn’t been the least bit funny in live-action movies since “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.”

And now you’ve gone and allowed him to star in what looks to be about the least funny movie since “Old Yeller” – “The Love Guru.”

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The film features Myers as, what else, a love guru that is hired to help a hockey player and his wife get back together. No doubt, any viewer would be able to get through the trailer with only a muffled chuckle uttered. No hysterical laughter and probably no thought that this movie is going to be worth the money to see it in theaters.

Recently the film has been in headlines, as it has been perceived as offensive to the Hindu religion.

Don’t get it wrong, Hollywood. Myers was hysterical with his turn as the voice of the grumpy ogre in the “Shrek” films. There was nothing quite like the charming Scottish brogue-d actor talking about ogres and onions. But then you decided in your infinite wisdom to have Myers go live action again in “The Love Guru.”

Hollywood, Myers fans wanted this movie to be funny. We really did. Myers is the character actor who beats all character actors in terms of comedy. And he even helped write this script!

It was hard to beat the laughter caused by watching Myers mug for the cameras as the Aurora cable-access show host slacker in “Wayne’s World.”

The originality of “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery,” which Myers wrote, was something to laugh at and admire. It was hysterical watching a 1960s heartthrob agent become accustomed to modern times and non-swinging ways.

But then you went and made “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me,” which in reality was just one long genitalia joke (go ahead laugh � the “one long” was there for a reason) paired with a script all too similar to the first one and not really worth repeated viewing. Oh, and Myers also wrote it.

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Then you made another unfunny “Powers” movie, which (get ready to roll your eyes) Myers wrote, and now it looks like you’ve pretty much just added the Hindu religion to a thinly veiled, Austin-Powers-type flick. His writing prowess has obviously gone down, and now you’re making his fans pay by financing these projects.

Maybe it’s time to wait for Myers to crank out a script actually worth seeing, Hollywood. There’s a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, “The Love Guru” might be funny and possibly it’s just a bad trailer. But with Myers’ track record, it’s hard to believe that’s the case.

So please Hollywood, spare us from unfunny films. We’ll thank you for it in droves when Myers finally gets back into his hilarious groove.

We promise.

Alicia Wade can be reached at 536-3311 ext. 275 or [email protected]

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