Banter: Schilling blogged his retirement, but how could it have been better?

By Gus Bode

Former Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling retired via a post on his blog. How would you announce your retirement to the world?

Luis C. Medina:

First, I would mention it on my Twitter account, which would link to my Facebook status. Then I would use those two outlets as sources to report on my own retirement. Finally, I would hold a press conference denouncing those alleged ‘sources’ and using the open forum to confirm my retirement in front of my friends, family and the three co-workers I did not offend during my reign of terror.


Scott Mieszala:

Well I’d like to follow the example of Michael Jordan and so many others and retire two or three times, but I’m pretty sure when people do that in the real world it’s not because they miss work or competition. But I could announce that I plan to buy a ballpark when I retire, then when everyone is wondering which one I plan to buy, I’d go buy a Ballpark brand hot dog, just like MJ in that commercial years ago.

Ryan Voyles:

After some careful DNA extraction, I would breed thousands of career pigeons believed extinct since 1914. With only orange party hats on their heads and GPS devices on their wings, they would deliver the news of my retirement to the locations I saw most relevant.’ This is the only logical way to announce a retirement.