Our Word: A modest proposal

By Gus Bode

For so long, Illinois politicians have suffered under the yoke of unfair accusations: that they are lazy, unnecessarily combative, wasteful of their constituents’ time and ignorant of their districts’ needs.

But it is time for those heavy words and libelous untruths to fall away.

Lawmakers, you’re doing an awesome job. It was so exciting to see you return to the capital for the special session Gov. Pat Quinn called last week, even if the reason for which he called you there was so obviously a ridiculous one.

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Why would you spend time hammering out an operating budget for the state when your energy – for which we humble citizens pay – would be much better spent coordinating re-election efforts? In this political climate, it could take some effort to keep the offices you now hold … and we would hate to be deprived of the exemplary leadership you have provided.

How could we allow our children to grow up under the rule of a government in which spineless, pandering politicians actually talked to each other and agreed about what the problems were – or even, horror of horrors, how to solve them?

So please, do not heed the cries of people who say you should fix the state’s deficit, pass an operating budget that includes even a semblance of balance and save social services.

Keep posturing. Keep bickering. Keep telling the media how wrong the other side is.

Don’t worry that you’ll lose votes from the people whose lives will change because of your indifference to their ‘problems.’ Because the programs that help them will no longer exist, many of those people will find voting a much lower priority.

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Single parents will be running around after their children and trying to figure out how to put food on the table, so the ballot box will lose importance for them. People who struggle with mental illness might not have been voting in the first place, but they definitely won’t be without the services that provide their chance for rehabilitation. Then there are the homeless and the victims of domestic violence and rape – their circumstances clearly indicate that they are too clueless to deserve any of your help, attention or mind.

Besides, incumbents almost always keep their seats. Your thrones are, in all likelihood, safe. Because of your profound wisdom, you already know this.

This game, with hassling over the budget and heckling each other in the newspapers and building the state’s deficit and cutting social services and generally making a mockery of Springfield, is so much fun. Please, keep going so we can play like this all the time!

Oh wait … We already do.

Time to add consistency to the long list of outstanding qualities our legislators possess. This isn’t a one-night stand; you screw us every year.

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