It’s pretty neat I’ll be able to tell my grandchildren I was a pioneer. I imagine the conversation will go a little like this:

“Sonny, let me tell you about the good ol’ days.”

“You mean when gays couldn’t marry?”

“No you little twerp. I’m talking about when the Internet roamed for miles.”

“Grandpa, this sounds stupid. I’m gonna go play on my hoverboard. Also where’s my birthday present?”

I didn’t say my grandkids were going to be nice.

But those days are coming to an end right now. The FCC changed its ruling regarding Internet regulation. In a nutshell, companies can allot higher amounts of bandwidth to companies who pay, potentially harming startups and pornography viewing.

But I, being the capitalist I am, am happy we’re catering to large companies. After all supply and demand and dividends or whatever.

So say you want to watch an HBO program online. But HBO doesn’t want to pay for the higher bandwidth. Now you have to watch Rust Cohle all choppy as he talks about his nihilism.

This is just one more step towards America reaching its final goal: an oligarchy.

Oh wait, that already happened.

But we’re still not quite there. I think a few more steps need to be taken.

First and foremost, we need to quit taxing the rich and overtax the poor. After all, how are we to live in “Brave New World” if we’re afraid to REALLY screw over poor people?

Second, let’s get rid of news organizations not run by giant corporate interests. The rich don’t have a veritable mouthpiece in this country anymore. We need to help them as much as we can and the liberal media is only skewing what should be a favorable opinion of the not-so-well-off well-off demographic.

And finally, we need to make the lottery a little bigger. After all, you can’t completely keep people down if you don’t make them feel like they have an astronomical chance of joining the 1 percent.

Seth Richardson can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @EgyptianRich.