Doggy ale won’t wag my tail

It seems only appropriate that someone would create a form of America’s most popular alcoholic beverage for the nation’s most popular pet to enjoy with everyone else.

It’s called Bowser Beer, and it is appropriate to share with your dog during any party or game night, according to the product’s website. Whether your pooch prefers Beefy Brown Ale or Cock-a-Doodle Brew, the beer is available in six-packs in 44 states, Washington D.C. and London.

But here’s the catch: The beverage is neither carbonated nor alcoholic, and it lacks hops as well as yeast. In fact, Bowser Beer’s only ingredients include water, U.S. Department of Agriculture beef or chicken, malt barley and glucosamine to ensure joint health.

Christian Holt | The WEEKENDER

Christian Holt | The WEEKENDER

Doesn’t sound anything like beer to me.

The excluded beer ingredients are so because yeast can harm a dog’s stomach during digestion, according to the PetMD website, and alcohol components do not break down like they would in a human. Bowser Beer is essentially a tasty treat intended to help the pet owner feel more inclusive when it comes to sharing a drink during social hour.

The idea sparked when brewing business 3 Busy Dogs’ owner Jenny started to make spicy pretzel treats to share among her friends. One tasty snack after another prompted her friends to suggest making them for their pups, and it dawned on her that no drink complements pretzels quite like beer so she started to work on a recipe to encompass that.

I’m embarrassed for any dog owner who would buy into this. Sure, it’s understandable that some people treat their pets like humans, but this stretches a little too far.

Perhaps I’m the party pooper, but it’s not like putting a few ‘beers’ down Fido’s hatch will increase his confidence to approach the ladies or expose some silly dance moves. It won’t help the pups enjoy terrible music, and it definitely won’t help them loosen up after a long day at the office.

Now that I think about it, this doggy drink doesn’t seem to have a purpose at all.

The website suggests serving this canine concoction over a bowl of dry kibble or straight from the bottle. I would really enjoy watching a dog try to pick up and drink a bottle of Bowser Beer.

I would also love to meet anyone who would name his or her dog Bowser.

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